two posts

{via here}

I think this is the first time in my little blog's history that I have posted twice in one day.  I'm not a huge fan of two posts in one day because I read on a famous blog many moons again you should post "often but not too often."  Whatever.  I'm making up my own rules as I go along...

And writing on this little blog is cathartic for me.  I could use some catharsis right now.... 

Because I am not a mind reader.

If I was, I would not be a teacher.  I would be a mind reader.  I could make a lot more money doing that I suppose.

I am very frustrated.  I'm new at this whole part-time team-teaching thing and still learning the expectations and million different traditions at the school.  I wish I knew them, but I don't.  I'm new.  And right now?  I'm new and frustrated and struggling.  

I made a mistake.  Mrs. Hoot asked me to do something.  I forgot to write it down on my to-do list.  And then I forgot to do it.  I feel awful.  I have been apologizing to her and beating myself up for the past two hours about it.  I'm learning.  I wish I could do it all "right," but I'm human.  I'm not sure what to do because I feel like I am slacking.  There are things that I should have known to do but didn't do.

At the same time, another job opportunity has re-presented itself to me.  And the people who are offering it are telling me & retelling me that I have to consider it/take it because they think I am a great teacher.  I secretly wish my principal and Mrs. Hoot knew this {but of course for selfish reasons} because I feel like a failure currently with them.  With this new job offer, I would feel like a rock star.  I always consider opportunities like this more when I had a bad day/meeting/interaction and think that taking the "easy" way out would be nice.  {I promise I won't if anyone is still reading}.

I'm very irrational and impulsive like that.  I wish that I didn't have to worry about how disappointed the parents are going to be when Mrs. Hoot leaves.  I wish I didn't have to struggle with working with some people--{not Mrs. Hoot} and finding a balance between what I'm in charge of and what she is in charge of.  I wish that I didn't make mistakes.  But I do.  We all do.  And I just would like to acknowledge that I'm trying my best.   Promise.  That's the moral of this two-post-in-one-day story.